21 May 2020
Many of us have prayers we have been praying for a long time which seem to be going unanswered – maybe it is for the salvation of a loved one, for the gift of a husband or wife or a long awaited child, for healing from a chronic sickness or restoration in a broken relationship, for relief from a difficult work situation or for a wayward child to return. How do such unanswered prayers affect our faith and our relationship with God? Do they tempt us to give up or turn away from Him?
These are difficult questions and unanswered prayers can be heart-breaking and life changing, and I don’t have the answers as to why some prayers are answered and others seemingly not, but wanted to share something of my own experience with unanswered prayer with you today. I believe testimony is powerful and we all have a story to tell of how God works in our life, so I pray you will find my reflections this morning encouraging.
Some of you may know that I have been praying for many years now for the restoration of a close relationship in my life and now, as it looks likely that the answer to that prayer is ‘no’, I’ve been reflecting on my response to that answer. I think when we talk about prayers going unanswered what we really mean is not that God ignores us or doesn’t listen but that He either says ‘wait’ or says ‘no’ to our request.
For the longest time I had sensed God was wanting me to trust him, be patient and wait, which I suppose in my mind meant ‘yes, but wait’. A bit like a parent telling a child ‘yes you can have chocolate but not until after dinner’ or ‘yes, we can go to the park but wait until I’m ready.’ Isn’t it therefore unfair and sneaky to say wait and then say no? Do I look back now on my waiting time and think it was wasted time or that God has been unfair or tricked me?
The short answer is no I don’t! But let me try to explain why.
God has used the waiting time in amazing ways. If he had answered my prayers with a yes or a no immediately, I’m not sure where I would be today, but I certainly wouldn’t be sitting here writing to you all!
I would not have learned to trust and depend on God in a much deeper way than I’d ever had to before.
I would not have been encouraged to take baby-steps outside my comfort zone and watch with amazement how God used them.
I would not have seen numerous other prayers answered in amazing and unexpected ways.
I would not have experienced how God encourages and sustains us through His Word and His people at times when I just wanted to give up the wait.
As I have grown in my relationship with the Lord through the waiting, the essence of my prayer hasn’t changed but the motivation for praying it and the focus of it has changed significantly.
Initially my motivation was quite self-centred, wanting to keep up appearances and make my life easier or more comfortable – (James 4:3 challenged me on that one! – When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.)
Some of my motivations were tied up in security and in my identity but the more I cried out to God and spent time with Him and in His Word, the more I came to understand more clearly and really believe that my identity is first and foremost in Christ and my security comes from him alone.
I went from ‘needing’ my prayer answered positively, to ‘wanting’ it to be but also being okay if it wasn’t as my trust in God’s sovereign ways increased.
I’d always found 2 Samuel 12:15-23 puzzling and unrealistic – how could David go from earnestly praying for seven days for his son’s life to be spared only to get up and go to worship God when he hears the boy has died? But now I see that even prayers answered with a firm ‘no’ do not change who God is and when I believe He is in control and understand that his ways are higher than my ways (Isaiah 55:8-9) then I can praise him through the sadness.
That reminds me too of the passage in Habakkuk 3 that we studied recently. Can we put our own worst-case scenarios into verse 17 and say and mean verse 18? If we can’t let’s pray the Lord will help us get to that point.
17 Though …………………………………………
and …………………………………………,
though …………………………………………..
and ……………………………………………,
though …………………………………………..
and ……………………………………………..,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Saviour.
Please do not read this and think “Janette is so strong!” I’m really not, as those of you who have seen me in a puddle of tears can testify, but my God is strong, and He strengthens me.
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:8-10
Please don’t read this and think “I wish I had Janette’s faith”. You do! My faith too was a tiny mustard seed but, at the risk of mixing my metaphors, faith is a muscle that grows and strengthens when it is exercised. Those baby-steps of faith were enough for me to see God’s faithfulness so clearly and be able to trust Him more and more for each subsequent step.
Unanswered prayers are often a disguised blessing that we can only appreciate with hindsight. If God had answered my prayer (positively or negatively) immediately I might have been, as C S Lewis would say, content playing with my mud pies in the slum, oblivious to the wonders awaiting me at the seashore.
Keep praying for the things yet unanswered, but trust God with the outcome of those prayers.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21
Janette McCool
